My US Map

Check the bottom of the page for additional fun things. I just added a map where all the states I've ever spent at least 1 night in are marked. Quite a few actually. I was surprised.

The Last 20

The next to last set of photos are up. I got just a few more, mostly of folks I got to know. I don't know whether I'll put all of those up or not, but I need to get them out of the camera 1st and see what they look like.

ANYWAY, to start at the beginning of this group go to:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mellobelle/821469221/in/set-72157600246988765/

Enjoy!

Mel

Likes and Dislikes about my Spanish Immersion Adventure

Liked and Will Miss	Didn’t like and Won’t Miss
the people. They are friendly and patient and seem to love their children very much	The noise - loud bangs at all times of the day and night; it’s like 4th of July ALL the time down here
friends I made here (mostly my friend, Miguel)	The noise, part 2 - they also drive cars around with loud speakers on them announcing public events or political party meetings or something like that
Most of the food	People spitting on the sidewalk; Come on, people, if you HAVE to spit, spit into the street
The yogurt	Dog shit on the sidewalk; again, people,if you’re not going to pick it up, make them go in the street!
The strawberry jam (& I'm not a strawberry jam fan)	Shrimp served with the heads either put back on or just ‘cleaned’ with the heads left on - No Thank You.
Living in the shadow of Volcan Agua - it’s so beautiful in all the weather and different times of the day	The cobblestones, altho’ I have to admit, I got pretty adept at walking a good pace over them after 2 or 3 weeks and they never grabbed my ankle more than just a tiny bit
How ‘not too sweet’ most of the sweet food is	Related to the cobblestones - the bad sidewalks, gaping holes waiting to break the ankle of an unwary pedestrian
granizadas de cafe - you would just have to try one to understand	The lack of money and how difficult the Antigua bureaucracy makes it to fix up much on the exterior of the buildings
cheap liquor/beer	lack of much of anything to do
Moza (see above)	the slow pace
the beauty in the ruins	the poor, poor doggies not taken care of
Parque Central	the veggie curry at Reilly’s
The lack of advertising EVERYWHERE	the rain, altho’ I think I could get used The 2nd floor patio at same to it
the papas fritas (potato chips - OMG)	the weird feeling knowing you're one of the rich people. It was something that I always remembered and I tried very hard not to be “some jerk with money”
the guacamole at Reilly’s	tuk-tuks and chicken buses (and their drivers)
the slow pace	Eggs and black beans EVERY morning for breakfast
the weather - the temps are practically perfect	Papaya - it’s waaay over rated as a fruit
The people of the Casa de Familia Ovalle; Maria Elena, Caty, Elizabeth, Christina y Hugo
THE COFFEE!!! - This should have been waaaay higher in the list. Don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner
Having a cook and a full-time housekeeper. I have become even more spoiled, (if that’s possible)
the nice Dutch guy that owned Thai Flor who told me I had beautiful eyes

That’s all for now, I’m sure I’ll be updating this as things occur to me. Signing off for now. The next time I post I will be at home and reflecting over it all. - Melinda

Check out my new pet below

Since my husband won't let me have a *real* llama, I have virtual pet llama now.

Meet Llamo the llama at the bottom of the page.

You can scratch him with the pointer or get some hay under the more tab and feed him if you want.

He's cute and he's purple.

Ok, I admit it! I'm a wuss!

Some of you reading already know about this, but my ear has been plugged up for almost 2 weeks now. It closed up on the way back up the mountain from the beach and I can't get it to open back up.

I went to a dr. here and while the drops dried out my nose nicely, they have done nothing to open my ear. I went ahead and started on Cipro last Friday evening and, no surprise there, it hasn't done a thing. Except for the fact that I'm feeling as good as I have since I have been here.

Needless to say, this has made hearing in class, shall we say, challenging! After an exhausting week of trying to hear the maestras in class, I woke up Sunday morning and decided if it wasn't going to cost me an arm and a leg, I was going to come home a week early. Just the thought of having to spend 2 more weeks struggling to hear and not knowing exactly what is going on with my ear almost made me feel ill.

So, when I found out it would only cost $100 and there was room on the plane, I went for it. It must have been the right decision. As soon as I made it, I felt an enormous sense of relief.

School has been every bit as challenging this week and I'm not doing as much as I might have with as good as I've been feeling, just because it's so difficult to hear what anyone says to me, in English or Spanish.

So, ANYWAY, in 2 more days, I'm on my way home. The big adventure behind me.

As to what this will do to my Spanish credits, I decided about 3 weeks ago, that there was a good chance I wasn't going to get a passing grade for this. I don't think I can remember enough well enough to pass any kind of test, so I'll probably have to take the ind. study course, which is writing only. I think I'll be able to pass that at this point. At least I hope so.

But this has been a good experience in many other ways and has given me the confidence to know that I can negotiate around in a foreign country fairly well. In some ways, I can't wait to do it again, but probably not till next year!

Get your latest batch o' photos right here!

I just put up the latest batch of photos from the trip to the beach up in Flickr. You can start at

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mellobelle/771942849/in/set-72157600246988765/

Check out the 3 "clear as glass" photos. I fooled with the orientation on 2 of them, just to show how reflective the water was that morning.

Enjoy.

Don't be afraid to make comments in Flickr. I enjoy hearing what you have to say.

Cuatro de Julio - Gringo style

That was how the party was billed at the tourist hang-out, bar and restaurant, Monoloco, which is just around the corner from mi casa. No one really knew what that meant. For a while, I thought maybe it meant they were going to charge a cover, which they normally don’t do. That would *really* be gringo-style. Ultimately, it didn’t seem to mean anything different than the usual hanging about, drinking and talking.

There were several of us from our school that were partying there. I had planned ahead and brought my US flag scarf which I had rakishly tied around my head like a colonial woman’s white cap, so I was festively dressed with that and my red and white dress.

We ended up with 3 Brits at our table that someone in our crowd had befriended somewhere, as they were not attending our school. I thanked them for our country. It seemed the polite thing to do and avoided the whole touchy discussion of that little dust-up that occurred when we insisted on taking it.

We were also accosted later in the evening by a very drunk Norwegian wearing an American flag sticker, trying to “fit in” as he said. Which would have worked, as he looked very All-American boy-next-door until he opened his mouth, when this very heavily accented English emerged.

He was pretty funny, but stuck his foot right in it when he told me he always loved to see it when the “old people” came out to party! I told him he really knew how to win friends and influence people, but he didn’t get the joke. So, I told him that we “old folks” actually prefer the term “mature”. But none of it really mattered, as I’m sure he had no recollection of any of it the next day.

It was fun but nothing spectacular. It also wasn’t as crowded as many of us expected. But there were 3 other places in town that were having 4th of July parties. It was kinda odd thinking about the fact that they were celebrating a holiday that means nothing to them. Kinda like us ‘celebrating’ Cinco de Mayo.

So, that was my 4th of July holiday in Antigua!

Hasta luega!

Dropping Down into the Home Stretch

I am at dos semanas (2 weeks) and counting. It was an interesting week in some ways. I’m still battling my ear that plugged up on the way back up the mountain to Antigua last Sunday. This has made being in class even more challenging. In addition to my sketchy comprehension of the maestras, I’ve had to contend with just the flat-out inability to hear them very well. And, of course, one of them was very soft-spoken. There is also the added issue of all the other conversations going on around me going into my ‘good’ ear and not being able to counter-act them by having another ear with which to listen. It was pretty exhausting dealing with it. I finally got so frustrated on Thursday, I bailed about an hour into class and went to the Casa Ovalle office and asked if they could get me in to see a doctor.

That was a mixed event. He was very through and spoke English pretty well, but all he could tell me was “Yep, that ear is plugged up” and gave me a “prescription” for some drops to squeeze up my nose. We decided that if nothing had changed in the ear by Sat I was to go ahead and start taking the Cipro I brought with me. Although, it doesn’t seem to be bacterial, since my nose mucus is clear. (Sorry if the discussion of nose discharge bothers anyone, but that is the fact of the matter and the way you determine infection.) So, ANYWAY, I decided to start the Cipro last night (Friday). I couldn’t see what waiting 8 hours would accomplish, since I had no indication anything is trying to break loose. The one plus of having to go to the doctor is that the whole visit costs me about $16.25US and the drops were $9US.

I’m not encouraged that this is going to make any difference either. I really don’t know what I’m going to do about flying home, if my ear is still plugged. All I know is that it’s going to hurt like hell!! I’m going to check out on the Web and see if there are any tips to help relieve the pain.

At this point, I’m just really tired of having to deal with issues with my body down here. I’m not even feeling particularly bad right now, but not being able to hear is driving me crazy!! And not knowing what to do about it concerns me.

On a bright note, after my horrible Thursday morning, I went to eat lunch at a very nice Thai restaurant around the corner from the casa. I was the only one in there and the owner was the one waiting tables. We struck up a conversation toward the end of the meal, when I told him I had been there twice before and really liked his food. He was so happy to hear I was a repeat customer.

He was German or Dutch, I couldn’t quite place his accent, but he asked me if I knew where my family came from. So I told him we weren’t really sure but it looked like I was mostly descended from Scotch, Irish and English, with a dash of Native Am. and Black thrown in for good measure.

He then said that I must have some continental European in there somewhere because I “had the most beautiful eyes”. I think I blushed. That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard in a long time from someone I didn’t know. I was so flustered it didn’t even occur to me to tell him that it was probably the tiny bit of Native American in me that gave me my nice eyes, as I think they all have very beautiful eyes. He’s probably not familiar enough with our indigenous population to know that, either.

ANYWAY, I was very flattered and it definitely made me feel better despite my stupid ear!

Next post, I’ll tell y’all about celebrating 4th of July in Antigua. It was a very multi-cultural event!

Next set of Monterrico photos are up

Here ya go, folks. Here's the latest batch of photos from last week-end's excursion to Monterrico. They start at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mellobelle/742878250/in/set-72157600246988765/

Check out the cool-creepy pics of the mangrove roots!

1st batch of pics of trip to la playa

I took so many, even after I edited out the not-so-good-ones, I still have 71. So, in order to not overwhelm anyone, I'm going to post them 20 or so at a time.

Here's the link for where they start:

http://flickr.com/photos/mellobelle/708660717/in/set-72157600246988765

Volcano pics are up!

Mi amiga, Crystal, climbed the volcano on Thursday and took my camera along so I wouldn't have to. I've posted the pics she came back with. The word is the pics can't do it justice. It was AMAZING!!

Being a girl of sound mind and tired body, however, she didn't traipse the last 300 meters on a skinny path across an active (and HOT) lava field for a closer look, so sorry all you fans of glowing lava pictures, there are none of those.

They start with http://www.flickr.com/photos/mellobelle/689459669/in/set-72157600246988765/

Enjoy!!

La Playa - Day 3

Date: July 1, 2007 9:25 AM


Hola mis amigos y amigas!

Yesterday was just one exciting event after nothing. I did manage to escape the confines of our luxurious jail briefly when I arranged (finally!) a driver to come pick me up and take me into Monterrico proper. It wasn’t much and it was hot as blazes but at least I got to see it.

More importantly, I managed to arrange today’s adventure. which was a dawn tour of the protected preserve that is down here. Yes, that’s right, yours truly, got herself up at 4:15 for a 5am pick-up to go tour around the preserve at dawn. And it was so worth it. With any luck I got some good shots. I certainly tried taking enough of them. But more about that later.

I spent about an hour and 1/2 in town. Crystal was feeling better, but wisely opted not to go as she wanted to stay close to a bathroom. I’m pretty sure there was another ‘major’ street there, but I wasn’t sure where it was and didn’t want to wander too far off the main street I was on by myself. I bought a necklace made from agate washed up from the sea. I gave that to Crystal, since she hadn’t felt like doing anything while we were here except sleep and I bought myself a Montericco t-shirt, which probably won’t fit after I wash it the 1st time. (They do not make anything with any hip room down here.)

I also bought Crystal some soda crackers just in case she went back to not being able to keep anything down. Those came in handy for her as an easy snack. I tried to buy myself a snack but together it was more than the small bills I had and the ‘big’ convenience store didn’t have change for Q100.

I felt better about being “trapped” at the resort once I had the opportunity to go and see and know that there wasn’t much I was missing.

The worst thing I saw was the 6 poor horses someone has so tourists can ride on the beach. They were out on the beach, standing on the hot, hot sand, no shade and no water for them to drink. I took some pictures, just because it was interestingly juxtapositioned with an upturned boat, but I felt really very sorry for them. I just don’t understand how someone cannot take care of animals that are providing you with a living. It reminded me of the poor donkeys on Santorini, standing in the broiling sun with no water to drink.

(Returning after a brief pause for desayuno (breakfast)) ANYWAY, I came back, we ate lunch and then retired to our room to relax while the heat of the day blazed on. It is pretty hot and humid down here at the beach. Think Florida in the summer. I napped for an hour or so. Crystal napped the rest of the afternoon. About 4 I finally got my suit on, slathered myself up with sunscreen and ventured out the lovely zero-edge pool that faces the beach. It’s great! You can hang on to the edge of the pool and stay cool in the water and watch the huge waves pound the beach. It’s the best of both.

I stayed at the pool until after the sun set, having my afternoon Bombay and tonic and wandered back to room around 6:30. Crystal was up but had been so for only about 40 minutes or so. She’s calling this her lost week-end.

We went to dinner and I bravely tried the grilled shrimp. I say bravely since I hadn’t eaten shrimp since my unfortunate episode possibly caused by shrimp not cleaned very well. Once again they served them with their heads on. A practice I do not get. The things look like giant sea bugs. Why on earth do you want to see their heads on your plate? If I decide to have any more shrimp (unlikely), I must remember to request “No cabezas de camerones, por favor”. I ate 4 out of 6 and they were very good and I’m not sick today, so I guess everything is fine.

i had a white Russian for desert. One of the best I’ve had, I must say. And Crystal and I retired to our bungalow and watched an episode of The Closer I had downloaded earlier in the week from our machine at home. (Gotta love technology sometimes!) Read some and went to bed because.......

I had to get my ass out of bed at 4:15 this morning in order to be picked up and taken back into Monterrico for our dawn excursion into the protected wetlands. Altho, they don’t allow development they do allow the shrimpers of Monterrico to continue to shrimp in the area and we saw a couple of boats doing so.

It was absolutely worth the early call to be out on the water as dawn broke. I took a ton of pics and will have them up real soon, I promise. I hope some of them turned out. There were dozens of white cranes I kept trying to get a picture of, so I probably have a bunch of foilage shots but no cranes because they were too far away. Lots of mangrove forests and swamp grass areas that made me think of the salt marshes around Tybee Island. The depth of this area also fluctuates with the tide but not to the extent of the Tybee marshes. These always have water, but certain times it is higher or lower depending on the tide.

Also, as it dawned and the sky lightened, the full moon was still visible in the sky opposite for a while. It would have made a great pic with the right equipment, but not my equipment.

So, now it’s all of 9:30am and we are here until 2:30 but it’s really too hot to be outside unless you are around the pool. So we’re just going to chill in our room until it’s time to go back to Antigua and I can get the lastest news posted.

It turned out to be not a bad week-end (at least for me, I’m not sure how Crystal feels about it. But she’s a good trooper.) I did find SOMETHING TO DO and also did a whole lot of nothin’. Which is a good thing sometimes, too.

Hasta luega!
mel

Well, being at the beach is just about better than being anywhere else, but.....

I’m typing this in our room at Dos Mundos Resort, Monterrico but no one will read it until we have returned to Antigua. At least, I think we’re in Monterrico. That’s what the sign said, but unfortunately, we aren’t actually *in* Monterrico. Turns out it’s about 2k down the beach. I thought that was closer to 3.2 miles, but some guy at the bar said it’s only about a mile and 1/2. Irregardless, I may try to walk down that way along the beach in the morning and see what I can see. Otherwise, my choice is to stay stuck here, where the only thing to do is hang around the pool and drink. Not a bad option, mind you, but I was actually hoping for just a bit more from our jaunt to la playa.

The hotel is as lovely as the one in Panajachel, but since they have only been open for 6 months they don’t have ANYTHING set up to do. No trips, no tours, no INTERNET!, no massages, no way to go to town. Nada, nothing. Those of you who know me, know I can be a slug along with best of the sloths, slugs and other creatures for whom sometimes moving at all is just too much damn trouble. But, damnit, there are things to see down here and I want to see some of them!

There is an ecological preserve nearby that you can arrange boat tours through. I probably can’t get down to the town early enough to arrange that. But, who knows, I may be up with the birds in the morning, since I’m sure I’ll be in bed early tonight, since THERE IS NOTHING TO DO HERE. There is not even a TV in the room.

I saw some kids go down the beach on ATV’s. If I can find that place, I may see about renting one of those thru Sunday. Oh yeah, did I mention that we are here until 2:30 on Sunday?

I wouldn’t mind taking a boat trip along the coast either, but I haven’t seen a single boat out in the water, so that may not even be an option.

And right now, I don’t even have my traveling buddy, Crystal, to be talking with. She fell under the weather yesterday afternoon and was feeling better until we drove down here and traveled on some truly horrible washboard roads right at the end. She has been sleeping since we got here and doesn’t even know yet about our lack of options.

The waves are incredible here, however. Really, really huge. That's partially the effect of the full moon but huge nonetheless.

I’m probably going to finish the ONE BOOK I brought with me, but I’m going to try and pace myself because have I mentioned THERE IS NOTHING TO DO HERE?

More later as I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to write blog entries just not sure I’ll have anything to say in them because THERE IS NOTHING TO DO HERE!!!

And BTW. . .

I urge everyone reading my blog to check out the links posted to the right. Especially the one An Interesting Look at the World, which is actually called TLLT(Things Look Like Things). It's wonderful and magical and I greatly admire the mind behind that blog.

The Lost Day

Hello all -

Well, I was felled again yesterday by more suspect food. After a delightful evening at Reilly's Irish pub with my friend Crystal, enjoying a couple of Bombay Sapphire gins and tonics and a very nice vegetable curry, (which I have had on another occasion), I was awakened at 2:30am by a very upset tummy. After repeated discussions about why it would be a terrible idea to go in and toss my curry (as it were), my stomach won the argument and the morning's activity was off to a not-so-wonderful start. I proceeded apace over the course of the remainder of the morning to advanced dry heaves and only after a prolonged nap and getting enough 7-up on my stomach did things settle down. (Not a ginger ale to be found anywhere. I will never leave the country again without, at least, some candied ginger on my person. For medicinal purposes, of course.) ANYWAY, all the so-called excitement lasted just about 12 hours, but I restricted my stomach to soda crackers and 7-up for the remainder of the day, just to show it who was really boss of it.

A not so fun 2nd day for my friend, who only arrived on Friday, but whom I am soooo grateful for being here and be willing to venture out to look for ginger ale and fetch back 7-up. It would have been soooo much more difficult for me to weather that little episode if I had been here alone. With any luck, that will be the end of any more sickness nonsense.

But today, which was a school holiday, (thank Dios!), Dia de Maestros (teacher's day), everything is mostly back to normal and we ventured out to have pedicures, sit in the park and people watch and do a little retail therapy.

After all the rain yesterday today was bright and beautiful all day. If I had to be sick, tho', yesterday was the day to do it, as it literally rained all day and into the evening. It would have not been a good day to be wandering around Antigua, so it was a good excuse for her to hang around the casa and have a low key day.

Things may slow down a bit more on the ole' blog as having been here now for 5 weeks, routine has mostly settled in. I'm pretty much shopped out and there is really not much else to do in Antigua, except for eat, drink and study español. So, not a lot to report on there.

Crystal and I will be going to the beach at Monterrico this next week-end, so I hope to get some good pics from there and some nice beach time, as well. Wish for no rain while we are there.

That's pretty much it for now.

Hasta luega,
mel

Ahhhh, surfing in my jammies once again

Hello all,

Hadn't posted anything since my "poor, poor, pitiful me" post earlier, so now since my wireless access has been restored at la casa I thought I should report in, albeit, briefly.

I've at least temporarily recovered from my bout of homesickness. Imminent arrival of mi amiga, Crystal, and going out with some folks from the school last night have both helped to relieve some of it. As much as I don't mind being alone, I truly am an extremely social creature and too much isolation is not good for my head. I must make sure I have enough social encounters down here to keep the homesickness demons away.

The weather has been marvelous here for the last 2 days as well. No rain! But probably some later today, if the map can be believed. It's been sunny and warm and the Volcan Agua has been very clear with just a cloud topping right at the top.

Well, I'm off to get another massage. For $25/hour, I've been getting one a week!

Later, y'all.

Alas, poor me!

I don’t want to make this post a pity party, but I’m afraid that’s what it’s going to be. So, if you don’t want to hear about my severe case of homesickness, you can stop right here.

Yep, that’s right, boys and girls, I’ve got a very serious case of the common homesickness. It appears to have set in yesterday morning. I thought I was better this morning but when I got to school I started with the weepies again for a few moments.

I really hate this, too. I’m not really one to succumb to this sort of thing which is why it has taken me by surprise and is annoying the fire out of me, as well.

I’m not really sure what to do about it, either. Yesterday, I was so miserable I hid in my room all afternoon after I got back from lunch and finished my 2nd book. I tried twice to work on my spanish and didn’t really do much except go through the flash cards, of which I apparently only remember nouns and only about 12 or 15 verbs. Arrrrrg!

Today I do feel slightly better and have made plans to go to dinner with one of the young girls from the school.

I think this has been brought on by a number of things: #1 was Eddie leaving on Sat. I enjoyed being on my own here for about 2 days and now I’m tired of it; #2 I’m just kinda tired of Antigua. Now don’t get me wrong, I still like Antigua very much. The people, in particular, are very friendly and nice, but I’m just tired of being here, of being in this room, of having to decide where to go eat, of feeling like I’m on vacation but I’m not (because I have to try and learn spanish); #3 The wireless has been out at la casa now for almost a week and I don’t know when it will get fixed. That makes it hard to just be able to get on whenever I feel like it (or when I’m feeling lonely); #4 The spanish is really NOT going well. I’m still struggling with things that were introduced our 2nd week and I can’t remember words almost as soon as I look them up. I’m getting very frustrated fighting with it every day, despite the EXTRAORDINARY patience of each and everyone of the teachers I’ve had.

I’m sure there are many more reasons, but those seem to be the ones off the top of my head. Crystal arriving this coming Friday will certainly help alleviate many of my symptoms, but I fear they will only come back worse once she leaves.

Anyway, that’s it for the pity party. I’m just pretty tired of doing this right now. Thank you for your indulgence if you got this far.

A few more photos

Mostly of a set of windows I really like:

If you don't want to go through all the pics to find the new ones, they start with this one:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mellobelle/571271181/in/set-72157600246988765/

Spanish school - what's it like? (and more pics loaded

Date: June 16, 2007 12:05 PM

It was suggested to me that I write about what going to school is like. Well, it’s alternately great fun and one of the most frustrating things I’ve ever done to myself, (except for trying to take algebra again).

The maestros (teachers) have for the most part been great. For some reason, the male maestros seem more easy going than the female maestras. The only one we’ve had that drove me absolutely crazy was a woman named Carla. She came bursting in to class the Monday we changed to her, rattling español a mile a minute, wouldn’t talk *at all* in English, and gave all her explanations of what she was trying to teach us in español. This was only our 3rd week. I wasn’t quite ready to not be able to understand a thing being said. Needless to say, I got real frustrated, real quick and when that happens, my brain flips a breaker and shuts down. She eased up on jueves y viernes (Thur & Fri), but I don’t know if that was because of the letter we wrote her miercoles noche (Wed night) asking her to please slow down and review what she had been talking about or if she had already planned on doing that.

Our favorito maestro has been Miguel. I’ve got a picture up of him on Flickr. He’s very sweet. He speaks slowly and is willing to tell us in ingles when we are not getting something. Interestingly, though, he’s also the one that gives a ton of homework. I spent about 4 hours doing his assignment 1 night. He also likes to talk about aspects of Guate culture and society and seems to enjoy hearing about how things work in EEUU. (That’s the Cent. Amer. abbrev. for the US-took us about 2 weeks to figure that out. We thought they were talking about the EU.) He wants to come to visit the US someday, so we gave him our address and told him he could use us as a sponsor if he needed to.

My spanish vocab and grammar have definitely improved, but I still have a terrible time understanding anyone when they speak unless they speak very slowly and happen to use the few verbs and nouns I can remember. I think that is the hardest part for me--remembering what something means. There are words I *know* I’ve looked up 3, 4, maybe even 10 times and I see it and I have no idea what it is! It’s very frustrating! Oh, to be 20 again and doing this. It would be hard, but I don’t think it would be as hard as it is now, with all those millions of brain cells gone that I’ve killed over the last 30 years.

There are 2 aspects of the school process that really frustrate me and to a degree make me angry. The 1st is the terrible copyediting job done on our workbooks. They have given us a handbook that explains stuff and has exercises and also a grammar and vocab workbook. They are both riddled with errors and exercises that are poorly explained, so that you have no idea what to do. For example, they give you a list of words to use in an exercise, say 10 sentences and 10 words we’re supposed to use to complete the exercise, but they will use 1 or 2 of the words more that once and 1 or 2 of them not at all. But no hint that some words may not be used. The worst editing is when the sentence is just flat-out wrong or so badly written you can’t even figure out what is supposed to go in there. A native español speaker would have no trouble figuring out what was wrong or what it was supposed to be, but it’s nearly impossible for a beginning student.

The other issue that I have been having, and I may have mentioned this in a previous post, is that I would prefer to cover less material more thoroughly. I feel like we get 2 or more new grammar concepts a week and I don’t have time to digest and understand 1 before we are moving on to the next one. This is being reflected in the tests I’ve been taking. I have asked them to test me approx. every 2 weeks, so I can gauge my progress and when I return I have some benchmarks to show UK, but I’m not doing very well on the tests. I don’t seem to be able to anticipate what will be asked plus the problem of memory that I spoke of earlier dooms me to not get very many things correct. At this point, I am sincerely concerned that UK will not pass me based on the exams. If they take into account the volume of work along with the exams, they might pass me. I try not to worry about it too much, but being the overachiever that I can tend to be, I hate not doing well. I’ve already decided that if I fail I’m going to enroll in the ind. study spanish and start it right way because my reading and understanding has gotten so much better, I don’t think I’ll have too much trouble with it. (Hey, if my friend Allan can pass it, I’m pretty sure I can. -- Hi, Allan, if you’re reading this.)

All in all, tho’ I like the school and really like the people associated with it. They are the most incredibly patient people I think I’ve ever met.

And that’s what school and my learning process has been like.

Hasta luega, chicos y chicas!

mel

He's Gone-like a steam locomotive rolling down the track

Date: June 16, 2007 11:47 AM

Well, got Eddie off this morning at 9 am. His flight isn’t scheduled to leave until 1 but there is construction on the road between Antigua and Guate City. Between that and the fact that yesterday was payday, traffic was anticipated to be heavy, so Rosenna at the school’s travel dept. suggested he leave pretty early. I’m just a little bit homesick for the pups and cat and being back in familiar circumstances.

ANYWAY, he’s gone and it’s a little strange to think about being along in a foreign country. I’m certainly used to being on my own in the US and Antigua has become very familiar to me, but it will be interesting to see how much I had been relying on Eddie to help me figure things out. The other thing that is making this a little strange is I’m back to being the only one in the house again. I don’t think there are any other guests expected until Crystal gets here next Friday. After the muchchacha (housekeeper), Cristina, and Elizabeth, la cocinera (cook) leave, I’ll be here by myself. There is a guy, Hugo, who comes on Sabado noche to be here overnight and there is another guy on Sunday, but essentially it’ll be just me. I’m sure it will be fine, but I have some retail therapy (terapia al menudeo) planned for later today just to help me transition.

I’m going to go out here in just a little bit to the Internet cafe and download this blog entry and one other, plus some pics and answer some email, then I’m going to bring the laptop back to the house and go back out for some of the above mentioned terapia al menudeo. I’m going to try to get as much done before lunch and then plan on staying in this afternoon and working on my Español and some flash cards.

Yes, unfortunately, the wireless de casa is still mal(broke,sick, bad). Looks like it will be Lunes or later before it gets fixed. No surfing in my pajamas until it’s fixed. Plus, I have to think ahead about what I want to do at the cafe de internet so I’m not wasting a lot of time typing things that I could have done before I get there, such as these blog entries and uploading pics and such.

So, I’m going to end this entry and write one more to upload. See ya in the next post.

Melinda

Nope, not yet. Still no earth moving for me.

I’m writing this offline as the wireless in la casa seems to have gone kaput for the moment. We visited an internet cafe earlier this evening and I posted a quick note just to let everyone know we were ok. This is being written later the same evening about 9:30 Antigua time. I’ll post it online next chance I get.

As a matter of fact, we were completely clueless about the whole thing at the time. We were walking back from lunch at our new favorite restaurant, La Taquiza, or Mama’s Place as we have taken to calling it. Eddie noticed before I did that there were people stirring around in the street more than usual and then someone from one of the shops asked us, “Do you feel it? We’re having a tremor.” Well, no we weren’t, as a matter of fact. The only way I could tell was by looking at the electrical wires strung along the street that were swaying. (Actually, E said later he felt it a little, but I never did. I'm not sure I could tell a tremor from just awkward walking along the cobblestones.)

Turns out it was a 6.8 at the epicenter, which was right off the Pacific coast of Guatemala very near where my friend Crystal and I are going to go to the beach when she arrives. A little place called Monterrico.

There was some damage in outlying areas and some earthslides in places from what we learned from the Internet, but nothing around here.

I appreciate everyone’s concern but you can quit worrying now. We’re fine.

No, the earth still didn't move for me

Just a quick note right now, as we are checking in from an internet cafe due to wireless fu at la casa.

We are fine. No, we didn't feel anything *AGAIN*, as we were out on the street.

More news later, I promise.

So, did the earth move for you, too?

Well, I forgot to mention this last week, but we actually had a temblor terremoto (an earthquake tremor). It wasn't all that exciting. Just like all the other ones I've felt in my life, by the time I decided that's what it was, it was finished. The paper said it was a 4.7 centered more south of here, toward the Pacific coast. There wasn't any damage or very minor. I didn't actually feel anything move, but the house was creaking a bit. I initially thought it was Cristina, the housekeeper, doing something in the hall outside our room. So, a bit of excitement, but not too much.

Antigua has a lot of ruins because of all the earthquakes they have experienced over the years. They don't seem to ever tear any of them down, either. I suppose that is why the sidewalks and inhabited buildings are nearly all in rough shape. They spend what money they have on keeping the inside of the casa in good shape and in some of the restaurants, not even that, so much. I guess if you think it can all fall down tomorrow, you don't spend a lot of time, money or effort to repair all the cracks and chunks that fall out. Only those that could be dangerous or interfere with usability.

That said, the inside of our casa is spotless. Cristina cleans, mops and dusts everyday. This house is cleaner than ours at home. There are the random cracks and one or two places where the white plaster walls have been stained by water but mostly it's fine. There is some minor maintenance that could be done, our towel (toalle) rack is loose on one side and I have to plug and unplug my bedside lamp to use it, but it adds to the home feel. Not everything in our house works, either.

When I first arrived, I think I described Antigua as both beautiful and icky. The icky was primarily due to how run down and rough so many of the buildings look and how rough the sidewalks are. Altho' letting the dogs crap on the sidewalk adds to the icky factor, as well. I have gotten used to the run down look after nearly 4 weeks and don't notice it nearly as much. But it's still very beautiful, especially since I have gotten to see it under so many conditions.

Español continues to kick my butt. I don't know whether I'll ever be fluent, but I can understand and interact a bit more every week. Of course, then the school hits me with something else new and different that I have no reference for. I do wish we could slow down. I would rather learn less more throughly than more less well, but I don't really have a choice at this point.

All I gotta do is pass.

Later,

From Antigua,
mel

More photos finally!

Ok, gang! Finally got some new shots up. Click the link to your right------>

If you have been visiting the Antigua set on Flickr, you'll just have to find where I left off and the new ones start there. It's not ideal, but I want to keep all the Antigua shots in the same place.

Later, chicos!

mel

Random things I've learned so far

Rap music in español is not an improvement.

I can get tired of eggs and beans for breakfast.

Papapya doesn't have much taste.

After 3 weeks I've almost learned how to walk on cobblestones and uneven sidewalks, watching for, and avoiding, holes that will break my ankle, dog poop and drivers who aren't watching where they are going.

I am now illiterate in 2 languages, as my English seems to be deteriorating, but I don't have enough español to replace it yet.

Chicken bus drivers are completely loco.

I've figured out at least 2 things you do with crema.

I'm just as bad with numbers en español as I am en inglés.

Rainy season isn't too bad as long as it's warm.

Rainy season can be cold.

It doesn't rain *every day* during the rainy season, nor does it rain all day, mostly.

Antiguans are very patient and mostly good-humored people. They never seem to get annoyed with the people slaughtering their language in attempts to communicate.

It's as beautiful here as it is heartbreakingly poor.

The Guatemalteco's who live in the countryside are as bad as our hillbillies about trashing some spectacular scenery with their garbage.

OTOH - Antigua, which is pretty run down, is surprising clean of trash, dog poop notwithstanding.

If anyone keeping up with this blog has any questions they would like to ask about our experiences here, please feel free to either post a comment on the blog or email me at mellobelle@gmail.com

Later, chicos,
mel

A little boy who wants to shine my feet. . .

Well, I'm feeling more like myself today. I'm still taking an easy on the old stomach and not giving it too much to do. It appears to not like that too much as I've been hungry a lot of the day. "What? You can't exist on some soda crackers and a half bowl of soup?"

We'll go find some nice vegetarian food for dinner and see how it copes with that.

On to telling about our vacation adventure from our vacation.

We decided to take a week-end trip to Panajachel which is where Lake Atitlan is. The school got us 2 nights at a nice, but not too nice, hotel and transfers on a shuttle both ways with a stop on Sunday at the market at Chichicastenango. All for $110/each. Pretty good deal.

The adventure starts with the trip to Pana. A full van picks us up at school. There are 9 people already in the back, so Eddie and I get to sit up front with the driver. Oh, great! We're crammed in like sardines, but at least we can get to the seat belts and they actually work. This is a Good Thing as the drivers in Guatemala are crazy! Passing into oncoming traffic, who, fortunately either slow down or get over in the breakdown lane, when there is a breakdown lane. Passing on hills and around curves. Tailgating. OMG! More than once or twice, I buried my head in my hands convinced we were all going to die.

Understand, too, Guatemala is very, very hilly. And I'm not talking hilly like around Central Kentucky which are really more rolling. I'm talking hilly like Eastern KY and W. VA. These are serious hills we are going up and down. Sometimes there are guardrails and sometimes there are not. What there are, are steep drop-offs into nothingness. Which is where I was convinced we were going to end up.

But it was fine........we arrive in Pana and while we were suppose to get taken directly to our hotel, our driver had other plans. He pulls up at a hotel just inside the town of Pana and tells everyone to get out. This is where he is leaving us. Even tho' we keep saying the name of our hotel. We manage to get a tuk-tuk (more on those later) and he takes us right over to the hotel. So, no problemo, except we spend more money on transportation that was already supposed to be paid for.

The other problem at the moment was the fact that it was COLD! I hadn't thought to bring my jacket. Hey, it's the tropics, right. No one told me that the rainy season also means the chilly season. I figured, sure, it'll rain, but it'll be a warm rain. WRONG! I'm freezing! Not only that, I hadn't brought any of the right clothes. No long sleeves, only 1 pair of long pants.

The next order of business then becomes looking for a jacket or a long sleeve shirt. That becomes an interesting exercise as clothes in Guate are not made for people of my size. I finally find a fairly heavy natural dyed wool jacket for a very reasonable $50. It wouldn't have been my 1st choice, but I was cold and not really into comparison shopping.

We get that taken care of, we go see the lake. (Ok, actually we go see the lake then I decide I can't stand walking around without something warmer to wear.) And we stroll the main street looking at our choices for dinner, which are wide and varied. Everything from food off of carts, (I don't even like doing that at home) to a very expensive, obviously best place in town. We chose something in between. My main criteria was reasonably priced food and a bar. I needed a drink after the day's adventures. We have already gotten spoiled by the prices in Antigua and have figured out that Pana is charging resort prices. Granted, resort prices in Guate are not what they are in the States but it was obviously several quetzals more than in Antigua. We also figured out that the closer you got to the lake, the higher the prices. We mostly ate at the other end of the street.

We eat. We look some more. We go back to the hotel, which is very nice. (I'll be posting more pics soon, I promise) Very tropical looking with natural wood everywhere and a lanai all the rooms open onto. It rained some more that night (surprise) but the sound of the rain hitting the roof was very cozy and made for good sleeping. The room was spartan but clean and Eddie said the shower had a good supply of hot water.

The next morning I'm still in a bit of a grumpy mood. (No, you Mel! I don't believe it.) I don't have the right clothes with me. It's raining, STILL. It's cold, STILL. And the internet cafe right at the entrance to the hotel is having connectivity problems. SIGH! We go find a place further down the street, but they won't let us use our own machines, so we go farther down the street and find one that does. We both get online for about an hour. I go out to the Well and bitch to some of my online friends about what a sucky time I'm having so far.

Since it's still raining when we get done, we decide to get a massage at a place that advertises $25/hour massage, which is less than half what we pay in the States. While we're doing that, the rain stops. YEAAAAA! I feel pretty good afterward *and* it's not raining. Things are looking up.

We find a Uraguayan restaurant for lunch, which was more interesting sounding than in actuality, but OK ,and while we eat lunch (and fend off the roving entrepreneurs), THE SUN COMES OUT!!

Ok, I'm feeling waaaaay better now. We go down and check out the lake in the sun and I finally understand why Pana is so popular with both Guates and other tourists. The lake is incredibly beautiful. It's surrounded by mountains on every side and they are incredibly green. I only wish it had been a less windy day. I had really wanted to take a boat ride, but the water was really rough. Someone had told us that it got like that in the afternoon and we wanted to take a ride in the morning, but, of course, it had BEEN RAINING.

We decide to do a little shopping because I want to pick up somethings for folks back home and I also still wanted to get some more appropriate clothes for me. When the sun came out, it immediately got warmer, so I changed my shirt, but I only had shorts or dresses with me and both seemed too chilly to wear.

The problem with shopping in places like Pana and also in Chichi is that you can't casually browse. As soon as you show the slightest interest in anything, the vendor starts to put the hard sell on you. I get real tired of that, real quick. Aside from the jacket, I only bought a tye-dyed shirt, mostly because it was long sleeve and it fit. If it shrinks any, I'll be finding a friend who might want it. Not only do you have the vendors who have fixed locations giving you a hard sell at any casual interest shown, you have roving capitalists who have a variety of things hanging off them they want to sell you. Textiles, jewelry, little woven dolls. These roving vendors are often young children and when you say no, they come back with "¿por que?", "why not?" or "It is for my school". Yeah, right! You can't sit at an open air restaurant without 3 or 4 or 10 of these vendors approaching you while you eat. More about that in a moment.

One of the things I really hated about Pana was the number of stray, ill-fed, ill-kept dogs running around. It was really heart-breaking. We've seen a few in Antigua but nothing like the number we saw in Pana. And these didn't seem to be pets that were just allowed to run loose, these were poor perros that were obviously not cared for in any way nor fed. Many were showing their ribs. I saw one dog scavaging the remains of someone's chicken dinner, crunching on chicken bones that could very likely kill him later. All the female dogs showed they had given birth, probably multiple times. It was very depressing. Surprisingly, we saw very few cats, but they probably only come out at night.

We heard what were obviously animals running along the roof at the hotel and when I asked what they were, the clerk said probably cats, so I'm sure they are probably in the same condition as the dogs, but more feral, as cats tend to do when not cared for.

On Sunday, we were shuttled to Chichicastenango, which frankly I could have skipped. After the near constant approach of sellers in Pana I was distinctly not in the mood for more shopping. The reason that tourists are taken there is because Chichi has the largest market on Sunday of any town in the region.

oh, boy.

Again, it was confusing when we arrived, as our driver drops us, with our luggage, in front of some huge hotel and tells us to walk back a half block to wait for a blue van at this gas station that will take us back to Antigua. It will be there in 5 minutes. 30 minutes later, this blue van drives by and disappears around the end of a row of buildings. One of our traveling companions goes to check and waves us to come. Sure enough, this is our ride back to Antigua. I'm glad these people were there and figured it out, as I'm not sure whether I would have realized where we had to go. They take our luggage and tell us to be back at 1:45. Great! It is 9:30 now. We've got 4.5 hours to kill and I could care less about shopping at this point.

We walk into the market and it's huge, crowded and noisy. We are immediately assaulted by roving vendors. I realize that these people are just trying to get by and by their standards, we are rich Americans, but after the 1st 10 or 20 or 50 people, I start wanting to yell at them to go away and leave me alone, so I can buy or not. The worst and also, most heartbreaking, are the young shoeshine boys. Apparently, shoeshining is a growth industry and everybody starts at the bottom at 5 years old. No, I don't want my shoes shined, for the 100th time. I don't care if you think they need it. I also don't like the very conflicted emotions all this brings on me. Sadness I can't do more mixed with hostility at the people for annoying the fire out of me with their constant assault on me.

We walked straight into the market until we found a place to get coffee and a snack. Stayed there until we just couldn't stand sitting at the table any longer and then ventured out to walk around for about another hour. For my Deadhead friends, think the largest Shakedown street you've ever seen and then multiply it by 500 and add live animals, fresh meat, hardware and other mundane items and you have an idea of what the market at Chichi was like. For all you others who don't have a clue what I just said, think the largest flea market you've ever gone to and multiply by 100 and add artisan textiles, fresh meat and live animals and you've got the idea.

I couldn't take it any more after an hour, between the assaults by vendors and just the crowds. Despite my going to many Dead shows, I actually hate being in large crowds. I start to get very claustrophobic and have to get OUT. We find a 2nd floor internet cafe and I dash up the stairs and dive into it. It's more expensive than Antigua, Q8/hour verses Q6 here, but I go for it. It's still only about $1/hour. I kill about 1/2 hour there, while Eddie goes back out to wander around. When he comes back, we walk to the other end of this floor and have coffee and beer at this restaurant. Being on the 2nd floor only slightly slows the wandering capitalists down, but anything is a relief. We kill maybe another hour and half, where I have a cheese sandwhich, which is a possible suspect in my recent unpleasantness, and finally leave when boredom and small chairs start to get the better of us.

We go find ice cream and wander back to the vans where we hope to catch an early one leaving. No such luck. We are the last van to leave for Antigua and have another E-ticket ride back home. Although, to his credit, this driver wasn't as bad as the one on Friday. La casa never looked so good. I was so glad to get "home".

For all of you who don't recognize my reference in my title to this piece, that's a line from a Grateful Dead song, Mexicali Blues, by John Perry Barlow. It seemed appropriate.

Montezuma's revenge for having too much fun!

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but right now I'm sick. I got sick last night with you-know-what. On top of which I think I'm getting a cold. I've taken some Imodium and am waiting to see if things clear up but I'm thinking I'll have to break into the Cipro tomorrow evening if things aren't looking up.

Right now, I'm not having very much fun.

Will post more later after I feel better and tell you about the mixed review I give our trip to Panajachel and Chichicastenago.

Please write if you are keeping up via this blog as it makes me feel connected to home.

Love,
mel

Random thoughts on food and the rainy season

I've been really wearing out this week, but I realize I haven't posted any goings-on for several days, so I thought I would try and get something up.

I think I'm having a low energy week and this place takes quite a bit of energy to deal with the language and walking around (see rant on cobblestones earlier) and just being out of your comfort zone.

The food has been awesome. E has had some problems with his digestion but I seem to be perking along in that department just fine. We've found a restaurant that serves excellent local food very near the school and have been there twice. It's called Taquiza and it's kind of a mom's home cooking kinda place and Mom runs a tight ship. The bathrooms are srupulously clean and she has all these rules posted about when she will and won't serve beer and who she will serve it to. For instance, no beer after 11pm and no beer if you are in a school uniform.

The 1st time we went I had a marvelous veggie dish of chopped green beans and carrots with crispy pieces of tortilla in a really, really tasty green sauce with a bit of white cheese sprinkled over it. The next time I had basically the same dish, except instead of the veggies, it had chicken in it. We're probably gonna hit that place once or twice a week while I'm here.

Last night we went Peruvian and I had a rice and black bean cake stuffed with shrimp and more shrimp and sauce poured over it. E and I then split a chocolate thing that was incredible.

One thing that E and I have both commented on and like is the fact that you get reasonable portions served and not enough food to feed a family of six. You can have a meal and not be so stuffed you can't move or feel miserable.

More on food later, I'm sure.

The rainy season started Sunday. That means that the day starts out lovely and sometime in the afternoon it starts to pour down rain. It pours for a while, then it stops, the sun may or may not come out, then it rains some more later. After it gets dark, it gets a bit cool but not too bad. There is nothing over our room except the wood ceiling and the roof tiles, so you can really hear the rain when it pours hard. It was very nice falling asleep to it last night. Also, the electricity has gotten quite lumpy now that it's raining so much. It has blinked off and on several times while we've been here and yesterday afternoon it was off for about 2 hours. It really plays havoc with all the electronics.

Well, I'm really tired so I'm closing this for now. Hope to get a power nap in before dinner.

Your correspondent in Antigua - Mel

Cobblestones - quaint, atmospheric feature or ankle breaking hazard

Sunday, May 27, 2:30pm -

Again, the internet connection is up and down, so I’ll post this online after things improve.

It’s been rainy here. Last night it poured and today started out sunny early and then got cloudy and cooler with scattered rain.

The whole of Antigua proper is “paved” with cobblestones. Oh, that sounds very quaint and European, you might say, and I suppose it is in theory. In practicality, it makes for fillings- rattlling, bone jarring travel by any vehicle. I had considered the possibility of renting a scooter or a bicycle while I was here, but immediately dropped that idea as soon as we were driven into Antigua by our driver from the airport. Yet, people are driving everywhere; in cars, chicken buses, tuk-tuks, bicycles and motor scooters. I’m not even sure why tho’, you can walk from one side of Antigua to the other in under an hour.

Not only are the cobblestones brain bouncing to ride upon, they are very tricky to walk on as well, yet I see young Guate women walking down the sidewalks and across the streets in 3”-4” heels and not breaking their ankles. I’m amazed.

Not only are the streets treacherous, but the sidewalks make for an interesting stroll as well. They are very narrow in most places and we often have to walk into the street to pass people. Most of them are not in very good shape either. It just doesn’t seem to be a high priority of the owners of the property to spend money to repair the walk in front of their buildings. If I manage to not get an ankle sprain while I’m here, it will be a major accomplishment.

I have a theory as to why Antigua has not paved their streets and gotten rid of the cobblestones. Aside from the money it would cost, I think the cobblestones are probably more forgiving and easier to repair in case of earthquake. The cobblestones probably just shift around during an earthquake and don’t get too much worse than they already are. If some section gets too lifted up, all that would have to be done is take the stones out of that section, level it off and replace the stones. Voila! Ready to rattle your bones again.

The cobblestones are definitely one of the things that make Antigua, Antigua, but it’s one of the things I’m personally less than thrilled with.

More photos are up

I've posted a few more photos. I apologize for the random order. I'm still getting used to what I can do in Flickr and what I have to do before I upload them. I promise the next batch will be in a more logical order.

Saturday news - Week One

Saturday am aproximento son nueves menos cuarto (approx. 9:45)

We had a brief power failure last night and internet connectivity has been spotty since then, so I’m composing this off-line and will upload it when I can.

Well, we finished our 1st week here and I can tell I know more español now then I did on Monday, but I feel like a slow child, plus my spelling is for s**t. Tony and Diego, our teachers, are very patient with us however. Tony is the more serious one, but very kind. Diego, who is also our salsa dance teacher is more fun and joking all the time. We have a lot of laughs as we try and say things.

We are managing to communicate with the cook and the housekeeper here at Casa Ovalle but it is sometimes frustrating on both sides, but we all seem to keep a sense of humor about it. Right now, I’m waiting for Cristina’s laundry to be done, so I can start ours. Just like back home.

We are going to spend the morning at la casa while I finish the laundry and we see how much connectivity we can get. We’ll go out for lunch when we get hungry and maybe to an internet cafe (which are *everywhere*) to see if connectivity is any better. Then I want to do some shopping.

And speaking of shopping, I found this great purple cotton skirt for $10 US and an aqua blusa (blouse) for the *outrageous* price of $23 US the other night. In USA they would have easily run over $50 US, if not more.

Gonna go do stuff now, like make flash cards for nouns y verbos (verbs) and see if I can get this loaded on my blog.

Our field trip today

Today after the morning class and a light lunch at a crepes place, the school arranged a trip to a park in San Lucas. They brought a light picnic for us to eat, but most of our money that we paid to go on the trip goes to an organization that brings Guatemaltico children from Antigua and Guatemala City to this park for them to spend some time in a place of nature. There are swings and a trampoline for them to play on. They also have pens of goats and chickens and a dog that lives there. There is a house for them to be able to stay overnight.

One of the people at Casa de Lingua works with several different groups that do things like this and also arrange for poor Guatemala City children to come spend 2 weeks in Antigua and for poor Antiguan children to spend 2 weeks at a time in Guatemala City in order to experience city life.

Most of the explanation of this was in Spanish when we got to the park. I got the gist of that explanation, but the conversation that followed was lost on me. It concerned what some of the various countries represented by our group did in order to assist poor children and families.

It was an interesting trip, nonetheless, and I glad some of the money we give to the school goes to assisting them to assist these various organizations.

Oh, yeah! Photos

I've finally got some photos up on Flickr. Click on the link under my profile, to the right. There is a set for Antigua. Or you click on the title of this post and it will take you there as well. Let me know if that doesn't work for you.

Antigua - Not for the directionally impaired

Reporting after an exhausting day to day. We left for class at 7:45am and returned home about 5:30pm. We had our regular morning class until noon. Went and found some lunch then returned to the school to watch a documentary on the civil war that the US helped the in power army operate against the poor and native Indian population. It was very sad and depressing and made me want to start saying I'm Canadian. Yet, no one seems to hold it against any of the Estadounidense (US citizens) that come here to enjoy their country. After that, we had a group salsa dance class. Then we walked slowly and sweatingly home.

There is a social gathering tonight at one of the cafes near the school. We'll see how tired we are after we get dinner.

Antigua is not very big and Eddie and I are both pretty good at figuring out where we are in relation to where we want to go and we have several well laid out maps, *BUT* anyone who has trouble negotiating their way around probably will get very frustrated here. Most of the streets do not have the names posted on the corners. In fact, many of them still have the old names which are not used any more and are not on the map except for a few of the streets at the edges of the main part of town. To top it off, many of the street corners have few distinguishing features to tell them from any other street corner. It's been a challenge to say the least.

That's all for now. - Melinda

First day of school

Hello again, everyone. Well, today we started at Casa de Lingua. It was a busy and tiring morning. We have two instructors; Tony and Diego. Diego will also be our salsa dance instructor. Class was from 8am until 12 noon. We had a brief break about 9:15 in order for one of the administrators to tell us about some of the events that are scheduled and give us a brief tour of the school.

The system is conversationally based. We started with the basics. Soy llame es Melinda. Soy es de Estados Unidos. a, be, ce, de, etc. There are 2 young women in the class besides Eddie and I. They are Canadian and are spending the summer traveling around Cent. Amer. I was very impressed. I don't think I would have had the nerve to do what they are doing at their age. However, I have to say, I think Eddie and I are having an easier time picking up what the teacher is saying and what we are supposed to say. Even with our old brains.

I will talk more about the school and classes later. Yesterday, I described where we are staying. Today I would like to talk about desayuno (breakfast). Casa Familia de Ovalle will serve you either breakfast or breakfast and dinner as part of your cost. We opted to go with just breakfast, but with the option to have occasional dinners here, which we will do tonight.

I don't know how dinner will be, but breakfast has been incredible. Yesterday and again today. There's enough food for 8 people. When we come to the table there are two kinds of breakfast cereal available, a pitcher of fresh, whole milk and a pitcher of orange juice. A large bowl of yogurt with maybe papaya mixed in and I like their yogurt here too, better than that awful stuff they sell in the states. A large bowl of pan (bread), at least 4 different kinds. Strawberry jam that is not too sweet. A small plate of what looks like lunchmeat and American cheese, which we haven't bothered with and another plate of white semi-soft cheese. That's just to keep you until Cristina can fix and serve the bowl of negros refritos (black refried beans) and eggs. Yesterday they were poached (I think) with a green sauce of some kind. Today they were scrambled with tomato. Oh yeah, yesterday there was a plate of tomatos and a plate of papaya. Today there was a plate of sliced pineapples.

It's a good thing we are walking, walking, walking everywhere or I'd end up being 3 times as big as when I left.

Well, here we are!

Hello, everyone -

We are here-Antigua, Guatemala. My nervousness about this whole adventure has diminished somewhat now that we have arrived and settled in. I'm sure it will start up again when we start class Monday morning.

The flights here were uneventful and I even managed to snag a emergency exit row on the long leg from Atlanta to Guatemala City. Loads of room for my legs, which made the trip so much less an endurance trial.

I was impressed almost immediately after getting thru customs with the fact that the luggage carts were free. I guess the airport authority hasn't figured out how to gouge the tourists yet by nickle and dime-ing them for every small thing.

We found our driver with no problem, but managed to somehow pick up a couple of helpers with our carts on the way to our car. Even though I said "No, Gracias", they stepped right in to "help" put the luggage in the car. They were disappointed though, since I didn't ask for assistance, I didn't feel any obligation to tip. I suppose that's a little "Ugly American" of me, but I find that sort of thing annoying. If I had needed and requested their help, I would have been glad to give them a few bucks.

So, after the airport adventure, we got to have the driving to Antigua adventure, which was mostly an adventure getting out of Guatemala City and a bit more exciting arriving into Antigua. The middle part was not too bad. We think drivers in Lexington and our urban areas are bad, but American drivers have nothing on the rest of the world. Cars, buses, trucks, motorcycles, if they want to come into the lane you are occupying, they just start over and hope you let them in or they force their way in. We almost rear-ended several different vehicles and came very close to wiping out a young man on a motorcycle. Fortunately, he changed his mind at the last minute and decided we were too close even for his comfort. I'm always surprised when I don't see any accidents, but there never seems to be any. I guess when everyone drives crazy, it balances out and everybody manages to stay out of everybody else's way.

It took about an hour to get to our casa. The Casa de Familia Ovalle is where we will call home for the next 4 weeks and I'll be a not-so-swinging single for 5 more. It's an interesting house. Somethings I like about it and somethings I'm not crazy about.

You come into a roofed over foyer right off the sidewalk. Beyond that is an open courtyard with a covered hallway along the left. Our room and 1 other are right off of this hallway. Straight ahead from the courtyard with the doorway off the hallway to the right is the sitting room, which has the wireless router in it and where I will probably be doing most of my computer stuff. While the Casa does have this wireless, unfortunately they have placed the router on the floor in the corner, so it doesn't broadcast very far. We're hoping after we get to know our hostess, Maria Elena, a little better, we can suggest and offer to help get the router mounted up in the corner of the room.

Anyway, more about the Casa, right behind the sitting room as you move back into the house is the dining room. It is an ok size, but very dark. Behind that is the kitchen. As you come to the kitchen door, the hallway once again opens up to another open air courtyard with some wood slat chairs and a table. I tried to sit there this am to work on the computer but no signal. Too bad as it's a very pleasant spot. There is another room beyond the kitchen which is a small guest room, but it is very dark with only 1 window which looks out on the courtyard. There are stairs off this courtyard on the left.

The stairs curve around to the right and at the landing there is the laundry room. You continue up and right before the top is the room of our live-in caretaker, Cristina. She takes care of our room and cooks our breakfast. Since she speaks no English, it has been very interesting communicating so far. But I'm sure as our Spanish improves, that will become easier. At the top of the stairs is a rooftop patio, with a covered seating area. It overlooks 1 of the 3 volcanos surrounding Antigua. I've already spent a lot of time up there. It is very comfortable.

The house is very nice and fairly comfortable. Right now, we are the only guests so it feels like our home. My only serious complaint is that our room is kinda dark with the only windown looking out to the hallway. It also has a curtain over it that doesn't provide much privacy when our light is on. I'm going to shop today for an attractive cloth that I can put up to fix that. We need to see whether we can fix one of the bedside lamps so that we can have some light other than overhead spots, which are pretty glaring.

Our only other window is in the bathroom and it looks out into the second courtyard, so we can slide the window partially open a tiny bit for ventilation but too much and anyone coming down the stairs can see into our bath.

Our room doesn't have a dresser but does have a gigantic closet with tons of shelving, so we can make that work. We also have our own small refrigerator that we can keep some things in. However, it takes more that 24 hours for ice to freeze even in tiny ice cube trays. They're just not too big on ice most places outside the US.

That's it for now. I'll tell you later about the huge breakfast we just ate. And the coffee is incredible!

Haiku for the morning

Couldn't sleep this morning. As the rain moved in at dawn, the birds still woke up and did their morning song. This came to me.

Even in the rain
The birds sing, greeting the dawn
Happy for the day.

Our new travel trailer

I have some pics out on my Flickr site now of our new travel trailer. We bought it mostly so we could attend music festivals. I don't tent camp and many of the festivals I'd like to attend, it's not convenient to stay at hotels. So, basically, this is a hotel suite we are hauling behind our truck.

Check it out. My Flickr link is to the right----->

Randolph Bessemer - 1st draft

This is the 1st short story I wrote for my ENG207 class this semester. It is strictly fiction but based around some of the facts of my brother's life (and death).


Randolph Bessemer was a rich and powerful man. Perhaps not as powerful as he once was, but definitely richer. His increased wealth was due, not to his own labor, but to those around him, particularly his consort, Will Rand, who now lay dying of brain cancer in a Fort Lauderdale hospital.

Randolph Bessemer, or R.B., as he like to be called, had been the band director at Louisville Boys Collegiate High School since the music department had been formed in the late ‘30’s. He had lead the LBCHS marching band to seven consecutive state championships and ten championships overall. They had marched in Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, the Orange Bowl parade and the Rose Bowl parade. Closer to home, they marched in the Derby Parade every year and was the only high school band ever invited to play My Old Kentucky Home at the Derby. They were the most recognized high school marching band in the region.

All this gave R.B. power at LBCHS and in the community, unprecedented for a high school band director. It was also due, no doubt, to his family’s status as one of Louisville’s wealthiest, old-money families. Because of his and his family’s status, R.B. was used to having his way and obtaining what he wanted. He had rarely been turned down for anything in his life.

Rarely, that is, until he had tried to adopt Will Rand away from his family. Not only was he refused in no uncertain terms, he briefly feared Will Rand, Sr. was going to get up from his easy chair and bodily throw him out of his house. Mrs. Rand just looked like she was going to burst into tears. R.B. quickly backed down and attempted to sooth the old man’s ruffled feathers.

“Well now, I’m sorry, Mr. Rand. I didn’t mean no offense. I just think the world of young Will and would like to be able to provide him with as many opportunities as possible. I see now it was presumptuous of me to assume you would allow another man to become your son’s father. Will you instead allow me to take care of some of Will’s expenses? I’d like him to attend my music school, for instance. He has a wonderful, raw talent that I think our instructors could help refine and improve.”

Will, Sr. who also wanted the best for his only son, grudgingly relented. And so began R.B.’s long association with and explotation of the Rand family.

R.B. met young Will when Will walked into band class the fall of Will’s first year at LBCHS. R.B. had always had an eye for the young boys that came through his classroom, but he had never been so completely taken by any of them until he saw Will.

Will wasn’t extraordinarily good-looking by conventional standards, but his dark wavy hair, his deep blue eyes and his smooth pale complexion went together in such a way that it made you notice him. Then when he smiled, his slightly crooked grin made his whole face glow with an inner radiance that made him look angelic yet, at the same time, roguish. And his nature was as sweet as his looks. Will quickly became a leader in the band.

R.B. spent Will’s sophomore year captivated by his young percussionist and found any excuse he could think of to have him near. He offered Will extra lessons in percussion. He found out Will was interested in the new hi-fidelity record players and electronic kits and bought him a hi-fi kit to put together. Of course, he didn’t let Will know he bought it for him.

“Oh, Will,” R.B. said after band practice one day, “You know, I bought one of those hi-fi do-it-yourself kits a few weeks ago.”

“Oh, you did, Mr. Bessemer?” Will replied, “Those are so cool! I’d like to get one someday and see if I could put it together.”

“Well, that’s why I thought of you,” R.B. said innocently. “I got it all out and looked at it and I just don’t think I’ve got the time nor the patience to put it together. I was wondering if you might be interested in having it?”

Will’s face lit up the way R.B. loved and he exclaimed, “Oh, boy! Would I? That would be great. Oh!” and his face fell, “Those are expensive. I don’t think I can afford it, Mr. Bessemer.”

“No, no. Think of it as just my little gift to you for all the hard work you’ve done this year in band. You’ve really improved, Will. I’m very proud of you.”

“Oh, wow! Are you sure? That’s fantastic, Mr. Bessemer. Thank you so much!” With that, Will gave Mr. Bessemer a hug and started out the door. R.B. remembered that hug for days.

“Oh, Will?”

“Yes, Mr. Bessemer?”

“Let’s keep this our little secret, shall we? I wouldn’t want the other boys in the band getting jealous and giving you a hard time.”

“Oh, sure enough, Mr. Bessemer. Thanks again. See you tomorrow.”

By the end of Will’s junior year, he had become Mr. Bessemer’s student assistant during Will’s study hall. Will was flattered to have this worldly, older man’s attention; a man that had the same deep interest in music and performance as Will did. Will was comfortable enough with Mr. Bessemer, he thought nothing of the head caresses R.B. would give him as Will sat in his chair doing his homework or the hugs R.B. would give him when Will would leave to go to his next class. Will’s own parents were not demonstrative toward their children and, altho’ he didn’t realize it, Will craved this attention.

It was during the summer of Will’s junior year that R.B. had the conversation about adopting Will. After that, he realized if he became friendly with the Rands, then he could have all the access to Will he wanted. He started stopping by now and again with beer to share with Will, Sr. Will, Sr. worked swing shifts and Mrs. Rand, whose name was Marge, didn’t drive. So, sometimes he would call when he knew Will, Sr. was at work and see if Marge needed to go anywhere. Occasionally, he would offer to take the whole family out to dinner at Hasenour’s, which was a fine dining establishment in the Highlands at Oak and Barrett. The Hasenour family knew the Bessemers and R.B. could tell the Rands were impressed when Ray Hasenour stopped by their table to see if everything was all right.

After that, Will started spending more and more time with R.B. R.B. hired Will to mow his grass and do other minor chores around the house. He got to know all of R.B. family. R.B. still lived in the family home on Cherokee Parkway with his mother and his polio stricken sister, Adele. Adele wore a very heavy brace on one leg and walked with a pronounced limp. Will liked her a lot and would help her around the house and sit and talk with her for long periods. He found her to be extremely intelligent and he like that she had never treated him as a kid, but more like an equal.

After graduating in 1952, Will decided not to go to college, partly because his family couldn’t afford to send him and even though R.B. offered to pay for it, Will didn’t think he was too interested in all the other courses besides music he’d have to take to get a degree. It wasn’t like he needed the degree in order to get a good job. It was pretty easy to find lots of places that would hire a motivated, hard-working, young man right out of high school. All Will had to decide was what he wanted to pursue. Finally, after weeks of looking at the want ads and not finding anything that appealed to him, Will Sr. suggested he go talk to R.B. and see if he would hire him at his music school.

Will went to see Mr. Bessemer the next afternoon and was hired immediately as a sheet music and instrument salesman. Will still wasn’t sure this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, but for now it would do.

After a few years of working at the music school, R.B. got Will a job working with him as an assistant band director at LCBHS. It was around this time that R.B. presented his plan to Will. He wanted to establish a summer camp for high school marching bands. No one was doing anything like this at the time and the kids in marching band forgot a lot over the summer of what they learned. It would give band directors a chance to work on field routines for the next fall and give all the band students a head start on next season’s half-time shows.
R.B. proposed to Will that he would put the money up for the land and building materials and for a half interest Will could manage the project and help build the main structures and clear the land for the practice fields they would need initially.

Will was excited about the idea of a music camp and the idea they would be doing something that had never been tried before. He readily agreed even though he knew little about construction. He knew right where he could get help though. His father knew all about building, electrical and water systems from his time in the SeeBees during WWII. He went home that night and asked Will Sr. if he would be willing to help and give advice as he needed it.

It would take a lot of work. This was September. R.B. had already found 200 acres in the next county he wanted to buy. The deal went through quickly and Will worked constantly and hard through the fall and winter with his father’s help and invaluable knowledge in order to be able to have their first bands start the following summer.

No one in either family ever knew exactly when R.B. began his relationship with Will, a relationship that would last over twenty years. At first, they covered their tracks. They were seen out together at popular night spots but always with stylish women and Will never stayed overnight at the house on Cherokee. Nor did R.B. ever come to Will’s parent’s house unless he came to visit with both Will and his parents.

After the band camp was up and running, however, Will and R.B. moved out to the property. For a while they lived in a mobile home, while they worked on the camp. Dropping all pretense, yet never speaking of it, they shared the mobile home’s only large bedroom. After the main camp buildings were done, the next thing they built was a penthouse over one of the camp’s dorm buildings. If anyone in either family had any doubts about their relationship before this, they would have been erased with the construction of their huge master bedroom with the king size bed and the magnificent view of the surrounding hills and farmland. It was plainly obvious that R.B. and Will had become lovers somewhere along the way. Yet, no one in either family ever spoke of or even alluded to their relationship.

The next twenty years were extremely successful for R.B. and Will and the camp. At it’s height, the camp moved 800 band students through a week- running double meal sessions in order to seat them all. Will continued to work hard every day adding to, fixing and improving the infrastructure of the camp. Will, Sr. could often be found there, too, at his son’s side, helping with the latest project. R.B. continued to stay on Will, Sr.’s good side, buying the old man his first console color TV one year for Christmas.

Other family members from both the Bessemer and Rand sides were pressed into duty to help run the camp. Marge and Miss Mary, R.B.’s older sister, ran the kitchen, initially doing the bulk of the cooking, but eventually managing a staff. Will’s sisters and R.B.’s nieces worked as kitchen help and canteen servers. R.B.’s nephews also worked in the kitchen when needed and as field hands to prep the football fields, lifeguards for the pool and as general laborers. It was sun-up to midnight work and because it was family, R.B. felt he could get away with paying a pittance. The kids were given a small allowance each week, but no one got their entire pay until and unless they made it through the entire summer.

R.B. had other ideas, as well. He strongly encouraged his younger nephew, Ray, when he turned 16, to start dating Will’s sister, Chloe, who was the same age. He imagined marrying them off in order to start a Bessemer dynasty and strongly hinted at this to the young couple after they had gone out on a few dates. But Chloe had no intention of being railroaded into an arranged marriage and, besides, she thought of Ray more like a brother than a lover, since they had practically grown up together working at the camp. Once again, R.B. had his plans thwarted by a member of the Rand family.

The camp did so well, R.B. and Will bought a winter home in Fort Lauderdale, where they retreated each fall after camp closed. They stayed there the entire winter, coming back only for Christmas. One year R.B. sent word back shortly before Christmas; they wouldn’t be coming back to Kentucky that year.

Marge, now a widow, was upset. “Will would never do that. He’s never not spent Christmas with his family. Something’s wrong.”

And indeed there was. Will had had several blackouts over the previous summer. Fortunately, he had never been driving or operating heavy machinery, but consequently, because he hadn’t been hurt and he was always alone when they occurred, he never told anyone. Until they got to Florida and he had a blackout and a seizure in front of R.B. no one had any idea anything had been happening.

R.B. rushed Will to the hospital where they learned he had inoperable brain cancer and only a few months to live. The hospital admitted him in order to try and get the seizures under control and this was where his mother found him when she came to visit after Christmas. She was stunned. Not only by the fact her only son was hospitalized and dying, but by the fact that R.B. had decided not to tell her until he picked her up at the airport and asked where Will was.

Marge spent her entire three weeks at Will’s bedside, going back to the house only to sleep, eat a little and change her clothes. R.B. didn’t spend anywhere near that amount of time there, saying he had business that needed attended to. Fortunately, R.B.’s sister, Adele, was there to keep Marge company and to help Will. Adele had taken to spending the winters in Fl. with R.B. and Will because her bad leg had become more painful in the cold as she had aged.

One afternoon, shortly before Marge was to leave Ft. Lauderdale and return home, she was alone with Will in his room. He called her close, “I’m going to leave my share of the camp to you, Mom. My part belonged to Dad as much as me, anyway, as much work as he did there. I wanted to share it with him before he died, but R.B. said no. I want to make sure you’re not cut out of my share. R.B.’s having the lawyer draw up my will. That’s what I told him I wanted. It’s less than half now that we incorporated in order to let Ray come into the business. I think I own around 39 shares. I. . .I. .don’t. . exactly remember anymore.” He layed back drained from the conversation.

“Shh, now. Don’t you worry about that. I don’t care about any of it, Will. I’d give up everything I had, if it’d make you better. I just want you to get better.”

But Will didn’t hear his mom. He fallen asleep, exhausted from talking and the effects of the pain medication.

Marge never mentioned the conversation to R.B. Perhaps if she had let him know she was aware of what Will had wanted, things might have turned out differently.

R.B. never brought the papers Will was expecting. Instead in the weeks before he died, R.B. showed up with a different paper for Will to sign. Instead of leaving his shares to his mother, and ultimately to his two sisters, R.B. made him sign a paper stating that his claim to the camp consisted of only seven shares. Will weakly tried to protest but R.B. cut him off harshly, “Listen, you’ll do what I say, if you want me to continue to cover your medical bills. Otherwise, I’ll walk away and your family can find the money to cover this. You don’t have any insurance, you know. I’ll take care of you until the end, Will, and I’ll make sure your mom is taken care of, but you’re not giving your family any part of my band camp. It’s not going to happen. Sign the paper or I’m walking out and you’ll never see me again. You can die here alone and without a dime, for all I care. I’ll leave them here and let you think about it for a couple of days. Don’t try to die on me without signing them. I’ll make things very ugly for Marge, if you do.”

Will was stricken. He’d thought R.B. had truly loved him all these years but he realized in that moment that R.B. really only thought about R.B. and what he could get from the people around him. He may have cared for him in some fashion, but he had used him and his family to get what he wanted and now he was willing to walk away from him. Leave him to die alone if Will refused him.

What choice did he have? He had neither the time, strength nor money to fight him. He hoped his mom would question what had happened when this came out. He asked Adele to try and get her on the phone, but when she tried from his hospital room, the operator told her that the long-distance service had been requested turned off. Will signed the papers. He gave them to Adele to take home to R.B. and told her to tell R.B. not to come back to the hospital. Adele, however, still came every day and sat with him. Will was grateful to her and glad he didn’t have to be alone. R.B. stayed away until Will slipped into a coma three days before he died. Then he came back and sat by his bed holding his hand, playing the stricken friend.

R.B. did make good on one promise. He paid for everything. All the medical bills were taken care of. R.B. bought the most expensive casket the funeral home had. He had a one day visitation in Ft. Lauderdale for their Florida friends. He had Will’s body flown back to Louisville, where there was a three day visitation before the funeral. He bought the vault space in Evergreen Cemetery where Will was interred.

When the estate, such as it was, was probated and it came out there was no will and Marge was getting only seven shares in the band camp, Will’s sisters were outraged.

“Mom! You’ve got to do something!” Chloe raged. “R.B. is screwing you over. You and I both know Will had a bigger share of the camp then seven shares. Let’s go talk to a lawyer.”

But Marge just sighed, “No, Chloe. I don’t want to make waves with the Bessemers. They’ve been like family to us. I don’t want to lose R.B. and his sisters as friends and that’s what would happen if I do something like that. I don’t care about any of that. Just let it go. Will’s gone and he’s all I wanted.”

Even though Chloe and her sister raged about the injustice they knew had been committed, their mom refused to budge and there was nothing to be done.
Karma has it’s way of exacting justice, however. Not so many years later, R.B. became the first in his family to succumb to Alzheimer’s disease. Out of a large family of long, lived, vital till the end people, he alone lost his mind.

Randolph Bessemer - rev

This is the revision.

Randolph Bessemer ran his hand through his still dark hair and thought about what he was going to do and the fact that soon he would be alone. He sat in the dark out on the pool deck of the Florida house drinking his Manhattan. His companion and partner for over 30 years lay in the hospital only a few mile away dying from the horrible tumors that were taking up more and more space in his brain each day. He hated that he would be losing Will, and he hated himself for what he was about to do.

He got up and paced the edge of the pool, rubbing the ache in his belly that always seemed to be there these days. R.B., as he liked to be called, thought back over their years together. Will had always been sensitive and little shy. R.B. was taken with him from the time he had come into band class his first day at Louisville Boys Collegiate High School.

Will wasn’t extraordinarily good-looking by conventional standards, but his dark wavy hair, his deep blue eyes and his smooth pale complexion went together in such a way that it made you notice him. Then when he smiled, his slightly crooked grin made his whole face glow with an inner radiance that made him look angelic yet, at the same time, roguish. And his nature was as sweet as his looks. Despite his natural shyness, Will was popular with the other boys in the band and, because of his natural ability and talent, quickly became the lead percussionist in the band.

R.B. had struggled with his feelings for other boys at Will’s age and, after seeing Will day after day in band, saw that he was struggling with the same feelings.

There had been boys come through his band room from time to time in whom R.B. saw himself. While he was careful never to take advantage of his young pupils, he would take them under his wing in order to let them know in subtle conversations that what they were feeling was not as abnormal as many of them thought. Fortunately, it was easier to mentor young men in the forties and fifties and even into the early sixties than it became later. The new openness of society was what eventually precipitated R.B.’s retirement from LBCHS when the parents of some of his students became suspicious of his motives in taking an interest in their sons. So much for openness, thought R.B. wryly.

He and Will became quite close while Will was in the band. R.B. offered him extra instruction in percussion and conducting, eventually picking Will to be the drum major his senior year. In part, this was to keep Will close by because he was so attracted to him. But R.B. also tried to get Will to open up about his feelings for boys instead of girls but, until Will’s senior year, never got anywhere. R.B. still remembered the break-through conversation with Will.

“So, Will?” R.B. asked one day as they were finishing their private lesson. “Who are you asking to the Senior Dance?”

“Oh, ahhh, well, actually no one, Mr. Bessemer,” Will stammered, blushing slightly.

“I see. I figured a nice looking boy like you would have girls clamoring to go out with him.”

“Yeah, well, I got plenty of my two sister’s friends that are always hanging around giving me the googly eyes all the time and telling my sisters how much they would love to go out on a date with me!”

“But you don’t care for any of them?”

“It’s not that. They’re nice enough girls, I guess,” and Will took a deep breath, “If you like that sort of thing.” As he finished, he looked sideways at R.B. to see what reaction the older man would have to this circumspect revelation.

“I know what you mean. I don’t think we’re all meant to like the same kinds of people or things. Sometimes, you’re just attracted to someone just because you are. I don’t think it’s anybody’s business who that person might be, it’s just between the two of you. You have to be who you are and not worry about what the world thinks about that. Do you know what I mean?”

“So, you don’t think I’m kooky not liking girls? I’ve feel like I’m the only one that feels this way and I didn’t know who I could talk to about it. It’s time for my next class now, but can I talk to you about this sometime?”

“We can talk anytime, Will. I want you to be able to come to me about anything, but especially about this. I really do know what you’re going through.”

And that was the true beginning of our relationship, R.B. thought to himself. He sagged back into the chair, his fleshy body causing the lounger to groan underneath him. He took another deep swallow of the Manhattan and leaned back, closing his eyes.

He remembered Will as the young man standing across from him at his music school asking him for a job. Even if R.B. hadn’t actually needed an instrument and sheet music salesman, he would have still hired Will to work for him. He had actually grieved a bit at graduation the month before, thinking he wasn’t going to have any excuse to see or spend time with Will any longer and now here he was, standing before him, looking a bit apprehensive around the eyes as he tried to project a confidence R.B. was pretty sure he wasn’t feeling.

Now that he was eighteen and no longer his student, R.B. had no qualms about getting to know Will better.

“You’ve got the job, Will. You can learn the basics of instrument sales. I already know you’ll work hard and do your best. Let me take you out to dinner tonight and I’ll go over the job and give you some tips on how approach it. If that’s ok with you, let’s meet at my house at 8.”

“Sure, Mr. Bessemer. Thanks so much for giving me a chance. I’ll see you at eight.”

“OK, and Will? Now that I’m no longer your band teacher, I’d like it if you’d call me R.B., ok??

“Sure enough,” Will hesitated. “I’ll see you at 8. . .R.B.”

Later that evening, R.B. dressed carefully for his first date with Will. His dark blue suit was fresh from the cleaners and the red and blue striped tie stood in sharp contrast against his starched, white, cotton dress shirt. As he slipped the gold, monogrammed cuff links through the french cuffs, he was surprised to realize he actually felt nervous. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t found other men to go out with before this, but he knew this was special and he knew this evening might make or break his budding friendship with a young man that, up till now, had seen him more as a teacher than a friend.

He needn’t had worried. Will was shy, at first, to be in the company of someone he felt was so much more worldly and sophisticated than he, but as the evening wore on, he relaxed and became more willing to express his thoughts and opinions to R.B. about a variety of subjects. Since R.B. had only known Will in the context of the band and music class, he was impressed with how intelligent and well-read he was.

The evening ended back at R.B.’s house on Cherokee Drive. R.B. could see that Will was awed by the house which had been in the Bessemer family for three generations. It was one of the huge, old Neo-Classicals with 12 foot ceilings on the first floor, 9 foot ceilings on the second and a third floor with only 6 1/2 foot ceilings. R.B. walked Will through it, telling him about this and that piece of family history scattered about the rooms. If he was boring the young man to death, Will was too polite to show it and listened with interest to everything R.B. said.

As Will started to leave, he thanked R.B. for dinner and again for the job, then paused, “Soooo, was this a date?”

R.B. chuckled, “Do you want it to be a date?”

“I don’t know. I guess. I’ve never actually been on a date, you know.”

“Well, I can see that, seeing as how most of your classmates would have probably beat you up if you’d asked them out. Yeah, I’d say it was a date. And you know what happens at the end of a date, don’t you?”
“Uh, not exactly.”

“Generally if two people have had a good time and enjoyed each other’s company, they’ll share a kiss at the end of the night, like this” and R.B. leaned over and kissed Will softly on the lips. Then he pulled him to him in a hug and kissed him more firmly, one hand behind his head, his tongue just breaking through to brush Will’s teeth. “How was that?”, he said quietly.

“I, I, I feel kinda funny. A little afraid, I think.”

“It’s ok to feel funny and even a little afraid, Will. But don’t be afraid of me. I’d like us to spend more time with each other and get to know each other better. Become comfortable with each other and I want you to become comfortable with who you are. I don’t think you are yet, but we can talk about it all you want until you get comfortable. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. I promise.”

“If I don’t want to, do I still have the job?”, Will asked, looking a little concerned.

“Yes. I won’t hold the job over you to get you to go out with me. Not yet, anyway.”

Will looked even more concerned.

“No, no. Don’t look like that. I’m just teasing you. You go home and think about it, Will. I’ll see you on Monday and we’ll get you rolling.” With that, R.B. let Will out the door and kept his fingers crossed that young Will would decide to take him up on his offer, despite their 20 year age difference.

I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. I promise. R.B. sighed and got up to fix himself another Manhattan. And yet, that’s just what I’m about to do. R.B. thought. You’re such a fucking bastard! Yeah, well, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do to protect his legacy. If things weren’t so goddamn backward and it was me in that hospital bed, Will would be thinking the same thing.

In fact, Will had wanted to protect some of his legacy and R.B. had refused him. R.B., walking heavily, took the fresh drink back out to the lanai and sat back down in the lounger.

Will eventually consented to being R.B.’s young man and also became one of the music school’s top salesmen. After a few years had passed, R.B. shared with Will his plan for the next phase of his life. He was going to sell or close the music school because he wanted to establish a summer camp for high school marching bands. No one was doing anything like this and the kids in marching band forgot a lot over the summer of what they learned. It would give band directors a chance to work on field routines for the next fall and give all the band students a head start on next season’s half-time shows. He wanted Will to become partners with him in the enterprise.

“That’s all well and good, R.B.”, Will said at dinner the night R.B. shared the plan with him. “I think it’s a great idea and I would love to be involved, but I don’t have that kind of money.”

“I thought of that and what I’m willing to propose is that we’ll go in as 50-50 partners with me providing the capital and you providing the contracting and labor. If you help me build it, Will, half will be yours.”

“Let me talk to my dad and see if he’s willing to help. He’s ex-Seebees and I know he has a lot of experience in the various building trades. I’ll need his help, if I do this.”

Will talked with his dad, Will, Sr. who surprised his son by being very willing to help his only son learn how to be a builder and general contractor. With a team of workers, Will and Will, Sr, with R.B.’s money had the camp up and running by the next summer after the land was purchased the previous fall. It wasn’t a big first summer and they had some bugs to work out of the operation but R.B. and Will considered it a success.

Once the camp became a reality, R.B. and Will moved in together, first sharing a mobile home at the camp. After a few years, they were ready to expand again. This time they built a penthouse over one of the camp’s new dorm buildings. If anyone in either family had ever had any doubts about their relationship before this, they would have been erased with the construction of their huge master bedroom with the king size bed and the magnificent view of the surrounding hills and farmland. It was plainly obvious now to anyone that knew them that R.B. and Will were lovers, yet, no one in either family ever spoke of or even alluded to their relationship. R.B. had always wondered why no one ever said anything. Will was relieved by that fact.

Their lives became defined by the work of the camp. R.B. managed the business side of things, while Will learned to handle many of the construction and physical plant needs of the camp. His father was a tremendous help. After a particularly grueling summer and fall of Will, Sr. helping to put in their own water treatment plant, the younger Will came to R.B. with a request.

“R.B., you know my dad has really helped us out a lot around here. I don’t know if we’d be where we are right now if it hadn’t been for him.”

“Uh-huh”, R.B. agreed, only half listening while he scanned the newspaper.

“Well, I want to cut him in on the deal. I’m thinking I want to give him twenty percent out of my share. Are you ok with that?”

R.B. laid the newspaper down. “I don’t think so. I don’t think that’s a very good idea. I want to keep it simple. I think should remain ours. It gets too complicated when you start bringing other people to the table. If you want to give him some cash for his work, I’ve no problem with that, but I think we need to keep the ownership just between us. We’ll get him a nice Christmas present this year. I’ve been thinking he’d like one of those new color TV’s. What do you think?”

Will stared at R.B. with a look R.B. had never seen. Hostility and incredulity washed across his face, “I don’t believe you! My dad works his butt off around here and you don’t think it’s a good idea to let him have some of my share! I’m not asking you to give him any part of yours! Why can’t I give him part of my share if I want to?!”

“Well, first off, Will, we never put anything into writing, you and I, so your shares of the camp are only what you and I agree they are. Now I know I said 50-50 when we started this and right now I’m still agreeable to that, but that’s only as long as you stay here. If you were to leave, you’d have nothing, unless you sued and you and your family don’t have the money for that. The other point is that this is OUR business and I don’t want other people thinking they have any say in it. I’m fond of your old man, but he and I don’t agree on certain things and he has no idea the decisions that need to be made to keep things running here and make a profit. And neither do you!”

And that was the beginning of Will’s cooling feelings toward me, sighed R.B. I don’t think he suspected until that moment how I’d taken advantage of him. I know I was a cad to not suggest we draw up a contract and he was too young and trusting to think of it until probably right at that minute. But didn’t you make sure he always had money in his account and a new car every other year. You always bought whatever he said he needed to run the place. You treated him good, didn’t you? You loved him.

Will never mentioned cutting his dad in again. Several years later, when R.B. wanted to bring young Ray, his nephew, into the business, he didn’t say anything to Will until he presented him with the letters of incorporation to sign. When Will noticed the shares were split 51% to R.B., 30% to Will and the remaining 19% to Ray, Will just stared at R.B. with a look more hurt than angry. R.B. hadn’t even been brave enough to stand up to it. He busied himself with some trivial paperwork on his desk, until Will put down the pen, threw the papers on his desk and walked out.

Now R.B. was about to hurt Will again. Only this time he wasn’t even going to let him know what he was doing. R.B. slammed his drink down on the side table, almost breaking the glass. One ice cube jumped out and skittered off the edge onto the concrete of the deck. He hated himself, but he couldn’t, he wouldn’t allow this to happen any other way. The camp was his idea and, while he had been perfectly willing to let Will share in the profit from that idea in exchange for his labor and loyalty, he certainly wasn’t going to lose 30% of it to Will’s family. In fact, the papers R.B. had for Will to sign transferred all but seven shares to Ray, at Will’s request, superceding his previous will. If only Will hadn’t insisted on having his will drawn up, this would be so much easier.

“R.B., we need to talk,” Will had said to him one late, summer afternoon while they were both working in the camp’s office. “Now that Dad’s gone, I’m going to draw up my own will. You might as well know, right now, that I’m not going to leave you my share of the camp. It seems to me, anyway, the longer I’m around, somehow the less I own of this place. If I go before you, I want to know that Mom or, if she’s gone, my sisters will get my share of the camp. I want it in writing that that’s the way it should go. You already have so much, I want to make sure that they have something from the work I’ve spent my life doing.”

“Sure, Will, if that’s what you want to do, go right ahead. I’m not going to stop you. I’ll just offer to buy them out and I’m sure I can make them a generous offer. As to you owning less the longer you’re here, frankly, you should be thankful I didn’t just kick you out with nothing and give your share to Ray. I love you, boy, and that’s why I didn’t. But until we incorporated, you do realize that your share only existed through my good graces and appreciation for the work you’ve done here. I just want to make that perfectly clear to you.”

But the truth is, Will, I can’t afford to buy them out right now. The camp’s not done as well the last year or two, with the cost of everything going up. With the cost of your illness on top of everything else, it’s probably going to cost me a great deal of money to keep things operating. I’m actually going to help your family out by not letting them get involved. It may bankrupt me, Will, and if they own much of it, it may bankrupt them as well. I’m just thinking of you.

With that final thought, R.B. downed the last of many Manhattan’s and fell into bed, sleeping the deep, dreamless sleep of the drunk and guiltless.

The next morning he went to the hospital, papers in hand, hungover, with the guilt returning in force.

“How are you doing today, sweet boy?” R.B. ran his hand down Will’s arm, giving his hand a squeeze when he got to it.

“I feel pretty weak. I don’t think I’ll be around much longer. I’m so tired!”

“I wish I could do more for you.”

“You’ve done so much for me, R.B. I want you to know that despite our troubles in the past, I’m grateful to you for all you’ve ever done for me. And the life I’ve had with you. There are things I wisht had turned out different and yes, I guess, I mean, I have some regrets, but there's nothing to be done about it now. I realize I made my bed and. . .Anyway, even when I didn't like you very much, I guess I kept on loving you I. . .I wanted you to know that. . .before. . .” Will’s voice trailed off.

“Now, now. We’ve had a good run, I’d say. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I do need you to do one thing for me, if you can manage it. I have this paper here that you need to sign. It’s to allow me to make your medical decisions for you when. . . in case you go. . . aren’t able to. It also makes me responsible for all the medical bills that the insurance doesn’t cover. Here just sign down at the bottom.” And R.B. laid the paper down for Will to sign, making sure the top part stayed covered so he couldn’t read it. Although, it’s doubtful he would have. He could barely manage his signature at the bottom as it was.

Later that day, R.B. called their lawyer back in Kentucky, “Bob? R.B. here. Yeah, well, thanks. He’s not doing too well. The doctors say it’s only a matter of days now. Thanks. Listen, that’s why I called. Will’s drawn up a new will and he wanted me to make sure to call and tell you to destroy your copy of the other one. Yeah, I can send you a copy, if you need it. Ok, I’d appreciate it. I’ll get it out tomorrow. Thanks. Talk to you soon. What’s that? Oh, yeah, sure, I’ll let you know about any arrangements when it happens. Bye, now.” With that, R.B. hung up the phone.

He walked over to the bar at the side of the living room and fixed himself another Manhattan and took a long sip of it. He sat it down and picked up a set of papers bound in blue legal paper and his lighter. Then he walked to the fireplace, opened the draft, laid the papers on the grate and held the lighter to them. They caught, burned quickly and left a small pile of ash in the bottom that the housekeeper would later complain about having to clean up. It was done. R.B. took another long drink.

Less than ten years later, karma exacted it’s revenge on R.B.’s betrayal. The doctors called it senior dementia, not Alzheimer’s. Out of three generations of a large family of long-lived, vital ‘till the end people, he alone lost his mind.